How to Overcome Jealousy - By: Anisa Aven
What are the logical and practical ways to overcome jealousy?
Question: I would like some advice on jealousy. I get jealous very easily and when I do it consumes me completely.
I know the jealousy I feel inhibits my ability to manifest the things that I want in life, especially as the greater my want for something the greater the jealousy, but also it really just makes my life miserable! And I would love to find some practical logical ways of overcoming it. Can you help?
An example of this is a friend of mine just sent a huge email around telling everyone about her and her partner buying a house. I am genuinely pleased that she is happy but my natural reaction is one of jealous rage (I obviously would never breathe a word of this to a soul!)
I am jealous that she is buying a house, jealous that she can because she has a partner to do it with, jealous of their steady incomes, jealous they have found each other and can move on to the next stage, jealous that they are younger than me, jealous they can fill their new home with all their lovely furniture and make it their own, jealous that they can finally start to settle, and rest a little, and nest and make their life together... the list goes on and on.
How can I prevent myself from going mad with jealousy? Or, perhaps can I harness this energy somehow and use it positively?
Answer: Here's the good news: Where there is great desire, there is absolutely the potential for great creation. Where there is jealousy, there is great desire. Your work, that you are clearly aware of, is to remove the jealousy and let your great desires manifest.
Our lives are the outer reflection of our most dominant inner thoughts. Therefore, the more we allow negative emotions such as jealousy and the thoughts that rouse envy, the more we attract 'less of what we want' and more examples of others fulfilling our dreams!
First, let's understand where the jealousy comes from in order to eliminate the root cause.
Jealousy comes from a state of disconnection. This debilitating emotion comes from the severing of your relationship to Spirit, from the Truth of your being, the Truth that you are unlimited and pure potentiality. Jealousy is an indication that you do not accept the Truth that you are inherently Divine and worthy of all that you desire just because you were born.
Jealousy is your indication that you are afraid. You are afraid that you are not worthy or good enough to have (or keep) what you want. You are afraid that others have the power to take what you want away from you and that somehow you are defective, inadequate, and not worthy of a fulfilling life filled with love, prosperity, peace, security, beauty and the Presence of God that you really desire.
Jealousy is the consequence of years of being told by others and by yourself that you don't deserve what you want. Jealousy comes from having low self-esteem and the inability to courageously and boldly believe in you.
It's all a lie! You are worthy and deserving of all that you desire because you were born! You are pure potentiality with the absolute power and unlimited potential to have, be, and do anything and everything you desire. You are a Divine Child of God born to live a fulfilling life filled with abundant, lavish prosperity and passionate, exuberant love!
Choose to be willing to forever let go of any and all feelings of jealousy from this point forward. Then, set out on a mission to master the new skill of intentional gratitude, acceptance, courage, faith, and joy.
Methods for overcoming jealousy:
Read everything you can about how to increase your self-esteem. A greater understanding of the problem will support you in fully integrating the solution.
Send love and gratitude to your friends and anyone and everyone that has fulfilled their dreams. Send them love as quickly and as often as possible while choosing to know that if they can fulfill their dreams, you can too.
Intentionally walk yourself up the vibrational scale from Fear to Courage every day. (See my Vibration Elevation formula for a practical tool.)
Stop judging yourself. Give yourself the love and self-acceptance you deserve. Choose to nurture the inner child that is afraid of not being able to have what he/she wants and affirm the truth that you are worthy of love and deserving of your dreams.
Meditate. Meditation is a sure-fire way to reconnect with the Presence of God within. The more you meditate, the more you align with your unlimited potential; the more you increase your conscious awareness of the Spirit of Divinity within you, the more effortless your journey towards spiritual connection becomes (and thus the elimination of jealousy).
Use Emotional Freedom Technique: Examples of how you can use Emotional Freedom Technique to eliminate and eradicate jealousy:
Even though I'm terribly afraid that I'm not worthy or good enough to have what I want, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. And, what if I had the faith to know that I am worthy and good enough?
Even though I'm horribly jealous, I choose to love and accept myself. And, what if I could be at peace and truly happy for my friends?
Even though I hate it that others have what I want and I don't, I choose to love and accept myself and what if I trusted that I can have what I want too?
Even though I hate myself for being so jealous, I deeply and completely love, accept, and forgive myself. And, I choose to joyously celebrate their creations and know that this means I can have what I want too!
Even though I am on fire with rage and jealousy and feel angry, hurt, and afraid that I'll never get what I want, I choose to deeply and completely love, accept and forgive myself! And, I choose to be at peace with what is. I choose to know that all is well and in Divine Order and that I am absolutely worthy of all that I desire.
Even though I've always been jealous of others and I don't know how to stop or let go of my jealousy, I deeply and completely love, accept, and forgive myself. And, what if I was free to be grateful and excited about their accomplishments? What if I truly accepted that I am unlimited and therefore also meant to fulfill my dreams easily?
Knowing the core beliefs that cause jealousy is essential to overcoming it. Your work is to intentionally accept the Truth of your Divinity, consciously choose to raise your self-esteem and eliminate any and all thoughts of unworthiness as quickly as possible.
You will know you are on the right track, when you begin to feel a greater sense of peace about your life and who you are. Be patient. At first, you may not see the immediate fruits of this change in the way of actual manifestations. Remember, you've probably been envious and jealous for a good portion of your life and the new thoughts will have to take root and grow before you'll *see* the physical results in the way of your dreams manifesting.
Simply remind yourself that 90% of creation is complete before you ever see a single shred of evidence. When you begin to see the 'signs of land', calmly and self-assuredly give thanks because this means that you are 90% done! You are only a few short steps away from the fulfillment of your dreams.
Be willing to stay the course and you will absolutely overcome jealousy. On the other side is a beautiful life filled not only with the fulfillment of your dreams but the sheer joy of knowing what you've accomplished because you intentionally chose to live deliberately and from a place of love.
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