The nice guy is a good guy to be around. He is accommodating, he is thoughtful, he is considerate, he is helpful and of course, he is nice. The problem with the nice guy however, is that to women he is just a wet blanket. The type of guy who works great as a friend and that she will talk and gossip with. She however, does not want to sleep with him, in fact by the time a woman takes you out shopping with her or tells you all about her dates with other guys she does not even see you as a person with male genital, you are just another girlfriend.
You need to make some chances in your dating skills if:
- Women do not really seem to see you
- You never have any success asking out beautiful women
- You are tired of being the best friend to the girl you are secretly in love with
- Sex is rare and never with the girl you really want.
- You are tired of being rejected and feeling like a loser
- You don't have tons of money to spend chasing women around
Just as bad, is how guys treat the nice guy. He is the butt of their jokes, the guy he uses when out in public to show women just how attractive he is. When out in a group of couple the nice guy is the one who may buy the drinks for everyone and hold their table. I even had a friend who had to hold the purses for the ladies; it was a humiliating experience for him and forced him to think about reforming his nice guy image.
We often here about the bad boy having to reform, heck there are even reform schools all around the world that teach these guys how to straighten up their act, but sadly there are very few schools and even fewer individuals with the training and knowledge to help nice guys get a little edge. There are ways that you can use to learn how to shed the nice guy image and embrace the strong independent you that has been trapped inside. It is time to unleash your alter ego.
Every guy has an alter ego, the person they really want to be deep down inside that knows exactly how to interact with woman. Think about it for a minute. Whenever you see a woman and you imagine the perfect way to approach her, what goes through your mind? When I was younger, I imagined myself being James Bond, the cool, sophisticated spy that never got turned down and was able to get any woman hot with a little charm. My best friend David always pretended to be some hilarious comic he saw doing standup one night and it worked for him. Within a minute or two of walking up to a girl he would have her laughing hysterically.
The same approach can work for you, the nice guy and it its pretty simple to learn. Be honest and think about the best dating approaches you have ever seen. Study your favorite movies, TV shows and books if you need a little assistance or you want to emulate a favorite character of yours. The trick is not to intimidate or pretend to be someone else, your alter ego is not a made up idea of you. It is a freer version of you, you without society pressures or any other worries holding you back.
Think about how this approach is going to work before you use it. For myself, I can emulate a lot about James Bond, but I cannot rappel into a building and I don't have dozens of high tech weapons or cars to impress the women I meet. Instead, I focus on how James Bond spoke to women. Able to make them feel special with a simple look or kiss on the hand. His appeal also had a lot to do with how he carried himself, completely self-confident and at ease. Think about how you can use your alter ego to develop dating courage, maybe going so far as to update your style of wardrobe and create the whole persona you are looking to create.
Whatever you choose to do, do not let the nice guy problem dominate your dating relationships for another day. Hot sex, hot women and hot nights are all just around the corner if you are willing to shed your boring safe image and unleash your exciting alter ego.