It almost always gives you a good feeling when you help the little old lady over to the bus stop with her bags, and she wearily thanks you. When you have been brought up by a parent who had been into scouting, then so were you and you became as one with the animals of the forest, a healthy lad clean in thought, word and deed.
Not always will you be appreciated for your kind thoughts. I was shocked in New York City at age 22 when at a street corner next to a little old lady laden with groceries and bags, I offered to help her carry her bags. Her powerful rejection, hissing and pulling away from me reminded me I was not in Kansas any more.
But generally and even in New York City after 9/11 apparently the people of New York have opened up to each other as fellows of the greatest city in the world, and apparently even NYC cab drivers now drive and wave with their full hand rather than only the middle finger. People do come together under attack.
And now researchers from the University of California have found that there are eight common values shared by those who live the most healthy and longest lives and report highest degrees of contentment and joy in their lives.
These eight attitudes are what we expect from our angelic grand daughter, but as for ourselves, well, there are many details that a child can not understand where we have to compromise our values, degrade our own finest inner virtues, ruin our environment, and this is just a part of the price of progress.
Now more people are speaking loud and clearly, and the leaders as usual are not even sure how to behave to ensure they can scramble back in front of the crowd as their leader. Just where are they going? To a cleaner earth with more fairness and equity for all, Senator.
We need to incorporate these values into the schematic network that alerts our minds when an alert is sent. Imagine Abraham Lincoln trying to get his full night sleep, which Lincoln desperately needed.
It is the night before a mighty battle, of which Lincoln has a feeling that his own general is less than adequate. Also, he fears that the battle plan is faulty and will cause untold thousands of deaths that a wiser plan might have avoided. How well would you sleep?
Articles have been written about the deep human emotional intelligence of Abraham Lincoln, so here comes another, with deep respect and appreciation of his having been with us when the world needed him.
I have written about this study before and will again. Until I find that I myself incorporate each of these eight values into my psyche; but I confess I still only get so far down the list of virtues before I must turn and look at the study.
So I do believe much the same may happen to you, and you will get so busy as you turn the page you could say, as I have, I just read the eight common values to bliss. Your friends will say, as mine have, oh, please tell me.
And you may find you have only incorporated, or even simply memorized,less than half of these unless you write them down. And if you let it go at that, your friend will be less than in a state of bliss from your great news, and you will feel like silly dilly who knows the secrets to joy but forgets them.
Oh well. Drudgery and grumpiness is good too I guess. No, it is not. So, we will recite them all, and later talk about dilly ways to be silly to remember these scientific steps to bliss. For the gents, this gets pretty icky but if you want your halo, you go through this door, which does not have either the tiger or the lady. Sigh. Are you belted in?
Count your blessings. Do acts of kindness daily. Savor the joys of Life. Thank a mentor. Heck, thank everyone.
Learn to forgive. The best way I have found is to be the first to say I am sorry. It works. Stay close to family and friends; your gold. Take care of Your body: grandma plays tennis! Develop strategies to cope with stress and hardship. And that is all there is to it. Now learn, listen, practice, become. Peace of cake, St. Joan, or Jacques. Parachutes on?
I have suggested, and still do, that we act out each activity in a way that we imprint such as when President Kennedy was shot: where you were.
Well, do not shoot yourself, even in the foot on this. We all manage that fine ourselves on our own from time to time. Instead, we suggest you assume a Cary Grant like pose, especially if you are male, while you work your way through the list each day, as Lincoln certainly did, and Gary at least acted out.
You ladies can be Countess of Blessing, or Mary Poppins with a wand. The gents should borrow that fine old walking stick from Uncle Bentley, and tap each you bless gently. Lay it on the shoulder, like the queen, not down across the skull with both hands, or you lose.
Your turn, Count of County your blessings. Go do some acts of kindness, pour the tea. Whistle while you work to show you savor the joys of life. You get it. What was next, without peeking? Ha. Saw you peek. Thank a mentor. Your welcome. And thank you.
Well, you can only kiss that backside so many times, so we suggest you spread it around and it will grow more joy, oh boy. If you want to forgive, I suggest you try my trick and ask for the forgiveness from your old disputer: they usually fall all over you in appreciation and thank you and tell you how sorry they were.
We will share until you incorporate these full eight values enough that you will be able to say all eight virtues without a crib sheet. If I can and grow nicer and more gracious and filled with moments of rapture and joy with my days left- more behind me than ahead, which alerts the mind also. Peace.