We all keep replaying old negative scripts till it kills us, a new study has shown. Studies of nine thousand British Civil Servants were tracked long enough that it was found that people could die of a broken heart. They kept replaying the same old script that failed until it broke their hearts, literally.
This study appeared in the Archives of Internet Medicine. They found that the stress and anxiety of hostile, angry relationships can boost the risk of developing heart disease. Chances of a heart attack or chest pain rose by 34 percent for those in stressful relationships in contrast to people on good terms with their spouse.
The researchers noted that negative aspects of close relationships are associated with coronary heart disease. Is that why henpecked Uncle Basil and bullied Aunt Beth both died at 48? Previous studies have shown the protective value of a nurturing relationship, but this was the first to study the ill effects of a non nurturing relationship.
The research team followed these subjects over a 12 year period, and reported that those who stayed together but reported a high degree of hostile arguments, criticism and other types of conflict had that 34 percent greater risk of heart attacks or chest pain.
When the researchers deleted risk factors such as obesity, smoking, drinking and family history, the chance of a heart attack in a hostile relationship was still 23 percent higher, said Dr Roberto De Vogli, an epidemioligist at University College London, the leader of the study. If you have good people around it is good for your health. If you have negative people around it is much worse for your health.
The danger is that for all the positive effect of social relationships are having a significant protection effect, the negative impact seems far stronger, said Dr. De Vogli. People continually replay negative experiences. I have been since 1968 a meditator, one who once sat at the feet of the Maharishi, now famous from his teaching the Beatles the previous year, and the writer was once introduced, in a very holy experience, to the Dahli Llama.
At the same time, I was a Psychology Major. And while it is true that negative can overpower positive, you can also work through those negatives, and retrain yourself, gradually, hopefully, through those moments.
My personal experience is an example.When I was 13, a halloween bonfire rocket slipped in the sand as it was lit and shot through the crowd into the face of a woman standing behind me. She fell on me, I turned, people pulled away from us both and she stared at me until she died, with this large rocket sizzling into her left eye, blood pumping out, and her baby laying next to her, alive but singed.
I no longer waking up dreaming of that, but it took self hypnosis and therapy. And for you, too, there may be a moment you wish to forget, hopefully not a permanent negative situation. For me, it took years of meditation for 20 minutes a day allows inner self healing, somehow, some circuits can be quieted, more positives placed in the way.
Soldiers, police, everyone in the line of fire knows how powerful such a negative can affect, over time. The elders know rockets and poor marriages can kill, while innocent children only see but exciting sparklers, enchanting engagements, happily ever after marriages, a life of joy and excitement.
Whether a rocket, or a failing marriage, it may take therapy and positive living to realize what was rare, was is ongoing pain. If you are both not good for each other, therapy is best, healing better, separation if necessary. When children involved, more lives to be considered. But an unhealthy home is a killer, science now shows. Let us kiss, make up, do something good, go plant a tree.