Jarrod needed some sex wax. He asked his mum to pick some up for him in town and she slapped his face and told him to wash his mouth out! He asked his grandmother to pick some up for him when she was out shopping and she fainted! After coming round, she told Jarrod's mother, who promptly slapped his face and told him to wash his mouth out.
'I need sex wax' is all Jarrod's dad overheard while he was on the phone to his mate, organising their surfboard titillating session. Forcefully removing the phone from Jarrod's hand, his dad slammed it down, muttering, red-faced, about extortionate chat line charges and the 'youth of today', before he marched into the kitchen loudly complaining to his wife.
And guess what? Yep, you got it. She slapped his face and told him to wash his mouth out!
That was it. Jarrod had had enough. He left for the beach to meet his mate and get this out of his system. Strapping his surfboard to the roof of his beloved VW camper, he set off to catch some waves. The wind was picking up which was a good sign that his surfboard would see some action today. It also meant that his other cheek would get some colour and he wouldn't look like he'd fallen asleep under a one sided sun bed.
Arriving at the beach, Jarrod's mate has already arrived and was looking chilly while he wiped down his surfboard. Jarrod pulled on his 3mm wetsuit and checked out the surf. The weather has brought out more babes than usual, all desperate to strut their stuff and show the boys they ride their surfboards as well as us. All be it in a girlie fashion!
Not wanting to make himself look a complete idiot, he slapped plenty of his mates sex wax onto his surfboard and headed out into the waves. There's no way he was slipping off this board and making a fool of himself in front of these hotties.
Once out into the water, feeling the pull of the current around his legs and the exhilarating power under his surfboard, Jarrod soon forget all about his difficulties at home and began to ride the waves. Getting the better of a wave and riding it into shore gave him the ultimate feeling of control and of beating the elements. He wasn't, however, the type to take nature for granted. It has an unpredictable force all its own and should never be underestimated.
Unfortunately, this wasn't the attitude of the blonde totty riding nearby. Obviously inexperienced but determined to get the better of nature, she tackles waves that are way beyond her. After crashing down and being beaten by a particularly powerful surge, it feels like an age has gone by before she surfaces, coughing and spluttering.
Jarrod does the gentlemanly thing and helps her inland. He takes her arm and guides her to the back of his camper van where he patches up her grazes and offer her hot tea from a flask which she gratefully accepts. Doing his damndest not to patronise her, because he knows how sensitive you girls can be, he use his own mistakes as an example of how she can overcome the problem she experienced on her surfboard.
She seems to be taking this all very well until he offers her some of my mates sex wax and she gives him that look. 'It's ok' Jarrod tell her, 'we always share sex wax'. It's at this point that she slaps his face, tells him to wash his mouth out and marches off back to the waves, swinging her surfers hair behind her. Girls!!
Sports expert Catherine Harvey looks at the problems faced when using a surfboard product.